Shopping encounters

With department stores across the nation closing at an increased rate, I began thinking of all my adventures, or should I say misadventures, shopping with my wife.

My wife can shop.

In fact if they handed out recognition awards for shopping she’d have a black belt.

Online shopping has taken it’s toll on malls and old established chains such as Penny’s and Sears.

I’ve spent hours in these places walking alongside my wife while she shopped.

As this part of our lives takes a backseat to her Amazon addiction, I find myself remembering some of the more unique experiences we’ve shared.

First off, I am far from the most fit person you’ll ever meet, however I do have a lot of upper body strength.

It comes from carrying fifty pounds of clothing all over a department store waiting for my wife to head to the dressing room.

If I ever have to have my knees replaced, I’ll know the culprits. Kohl’s and Belks will top the list.

I remember one especially distinctive time, sitting outside a dressing room for Holly, my wife.

My phone’s battery had died, so I reached into her purse to grab her phone to use.

An elderly woman was looking through a rack of clothes beside me. As my hand pulled the phone from the purse, this woman, a complete stranger, glared at me and said, “Don’t you dare.”

As we locked eyes, I slowly replaced my wife’s phone back into the purse as if I was a five year old child waiting for his mama, instead of a grown man.

Speaking of five year olds.

There was another time while I was waiting outside a dressing room for Holly, when a small child began to stare at me from a few feet down the aisle. I smiled back and while his mother talked on her phone he began to take a few steps towards me.

He had the cutest grin as he approached me.

Closer and closer he came.

When he got to within a foot of me, he looked up with that cute grin and said, “I’m going to kick you now.”

I nervously laughed and yelled Holly’s name into the dressing room. His mother closed her phone, took him by the arm and led him away.

He looked back the whole time grinning at me.

Looking back on it, maybe I won’t miss those shopping excursions so much after all.

See you out there.