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Jeff Dorris

Deliberations from Dorris

Jeff Dorris is the Editor of the Delta Dunklin Democrat

Editorial

Modern Aplliances

Saturday, November 24, 2018

I canít run a washer or a dryer.

Let me clarify this statement.

I can run a washer or dryer thatís 25 to 30 years old, I just canít run a new one.

I discovered this fact while my wife is away helping my father-in-law recuperate from heart surgery.

She offered to leave instructions, but I laughed at such an absurd idea.

Instructions?

On how to run a washer and dryer?

Donít be silly.

Oh how my wardrobe has suffered.

Sheís been on me for years to throw away clothes that no longer fit.

Well, she got her wish.

This computerized high tech dryer is also fitted with a shrinking ray.

I can now supply a twelve year old boy with quite a few quality dress pants.

Thereís no knobs on these things!

The washer senses how much water to fill the tub with according to the size of the load.

Amazing.

Yet even though Iím using state of the art, eco-friendly super duper liquid detergent, my clothes come out spotted with powder!

The dryer has a touch screen.

Iíve had trouble with those since microwaves.

Iíve slid my finger all over that screen and it lights up green for go and red for hot, but my clothes still come out wet!

This is not a new problem for me.

According to my wife, who was raised in a military home, I didnít know how to load a dishwasher or fold towels properly until I was in my forties.

I pray my father-in-law has a quick recovery.

Until then these expensive, futuristic appliances will sit, while I trek off to the laundromat.

After all, I canít afford to have anymore of my pants turn into doll clothes.

See you out there.

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