Old School Parenting

Last week I saw a young man yelling obscenities at his mother in a local department store.

As the mother pushed her cart further down the aisle, the young teen followed behind her, cursing her the entire time.

This is not the first time I’ve witnessed such disrespect. This kind of behavior has been happening across our country for many years

It makes me wonder where the breakdown started.

There are thousands of books on parenting available, but I’ve never read one that was a total cure-all for what’s happening in our society.

I’m for old school parenting.

I spank.

Now, I’m not advocating a beating that draws blood, but I see nothing wrong with a swat on the rear.

My parents spanked me, and if you ask my mother she’ll tell you not near enough.

I spanked my children.

I worked in the counseling field for 16 years and, yes, I’ve read all the studies that prove spanking is not only in effective but detrimental.

In fact a 2016 study from researchers at the University of Texas entitled, “Risks of Harm from Spanking Confirmed by Analysis of Five Decades of Research,” states children that are spanked are more likely to defy their parents and engage in risky behavior.

Fifty years of research?

They apparently didn’t study the children in my group who would shoot you over the last pork chop on the table.

I don’t think the majority of recent shootings in this country were committed by baby boomers.

I’d like to see a study done on that.

When my son was in his pre-teens, he and his friends were throwing rocks in the yard.

I warned them to stop.

They did not.

A few minutes later I went back outside and told my son I better not have to come out there again.

As I walked back into the house I heard a little boy tell my son, “You’re going to get a time-out.”

My son replied, “My dad doesn’t believe in time outs.”

By the way researchers are now saying that time outs aren’t proper punishment.

Some experts think that time outs may cause kids to misbehave even more than other forms of punishment. They say it’s humiliating.

So we’re left with moms being verbally abused by their children in public.

I believe a lot of these behaviors originate in the home.

Spoiling is a problem.

If your child rules your home, you’ve probably spoiled them.

There’s a saying that states, raise your kids and spoil your grandkids, or spoil your kids and you’ll raise your grandkids.

So true.

What’s worse than spoiling?

Ignoring them.

Many times in my past career I had wealthy parents admit their drug-addicted, out of control teen, into the treatment center where I worked for a thirty day stay.

They would leave a relative’s contact number for emergencies because they were headed to Europe on vacation.

Buying them every new gadget so they’ll stay busy and leave you alone is not good parenting. It’s not parenting at all.

It’s not enough to buy the ball, you’ve got to get out in the backyard and throw it around with them.

Again, I’m old school when it comes to parenting and I don’t advocate beating your child into submission.

I certainly don’t have all the answers.

For those parents who are raising small children I’ll leave you with this.

Love them with all your heart, spend time with them and when needed, a little time behind the woodshed.

Although certainly not politically correct, it may have helped that teen show a little respect to his mother last week.

See you out there.