Jeff Dorris

Deliberations from Dorris

Jeff Dorris is the Editor of the Delta Dunklin Democrat


Old School Parenting

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Last week I saw a young man yelling obscenities at his mother in a local department store.

As the mother pushed her cart further down the aisle, the young teen followed behind her, cursing her the entire time.

This is not the first time Iíve witnessed such disrespect. This kind of behavior has been happening across our country for many years

It makes me wonder where the breakdown started.

There are thousands of books on parenting available, but Iíve never read one that was a total cure-all for whatís happening in our society.

Iím for old school parenting.

I spank.

Now, Iím not advocating a beating that draws blood, but I see nothing wrong with a swat on the rear.

My parents spanked me, and if you ask my mother sheíll tell you not near enough.

I spanked my children.

I worked in the counseling field for 16 years and, yes, Iíve read all the studies that prove spanking is not only in effective but detrimental.

In fact a 2016 study from researchers at the University of Texas entitled, ďRisks of Harm from Spanking Confirmed by Analysis of Five Decades of Research,Ē states children that are spanked are more likely to defy their parents and engage in risky behavior.

Fifty years of research?

They apparently didnít study the children in my group who would shoot you over the last pork chop on the table.

I donít think the majority of recent shootings in this country were committed by baby boomers.

Iíd like to see a study done on that.

When my son was in his pre-teens, he and his friends were throwing rocks in the yard.

I warned them to stop.

They did not.

A few minutes later I went back outside and told my son I better not have to come out there again.

As I walked back into the house I heard a little boy tell my son, ďYouíre going to get a time-out.Ē

My son replied, ďMy dad doesnít believe in time outs.Ē

By the way researchers are now saying that time outs arenít proper punishment.

Some experts think that time outs may cause kids to misbehave even more than other forms of punishment. They say itís humiliating.

So weíre left with moms being verbally abused by their children in public.

I believe a lot of these behaviors originate in the home.

Spoiling is a problem.

If your child rules your home, youíve probably spoiled them.

Thereís a saying that states, raise your kids and spoil your grandkids, or spoil your kids and youíll raise your grandkids.

So true.

Whatís worse than spoiling?

Ignoring them.

Many times in my past career I had wealthy parents admit their drug-addicted, out of control teen, into the treatment center where I worked for a thirty day stay.

They would leave a relativeís contact number for emergencies because they were headed to Europe on vacation.

Buying them every new gadget so theyíll stay busy and leave you alone is not good parenting. Itís not parenting at all.

Itís not enough to buy the ball, youíve got to get out in the backyard and throw it around with them.

Again, Iím old school when it comes to parenting and I donít advocate beating your child into submission.

I certainly donít have all the answers.

For those parents who are raising small children Iíll leave you with this.

Love them with all your heart, spend time with them and when needed, a little time behind the woodshed.

Although certainly not politically correct, it may have helped that teen show a little respect to his mother last week.

See you out there.

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