Modern Aplliances

I can’t run a washer or a dryer.

Let me clarify this statement.

I can run a washer or dryer that’s 25 to 30 years old, I just can’t run a new one.

I discovered this fact while my wife is away helping my father-in-law recuperate from heart surgery.

She offered to leave instructions, but I laughed at such an absurd idea.

Instructions?

On how to run a washer and dryer?

Don’t be silly.

Oh how my wardrobe has suffered.

She’s been on me for years to throw away clothes that no longer fit.

Well, she got her wish.

This computerized high tech dryer is also fitted with a shrinking ray.

I can now supply a twelve year old boy with quite a few quality dress pants.

There’s no knobs on these things!

The washer senses how much water to fill the tub with according to the size of the load.

Amazing.

Yet even though I’m using state of the art, eco-friendly super duper liquid detergent, my clothes come out spotted with powder!

The dryer has a touch screen.

I’ve had trouble with those since microwaves.

I’ve slid my finger all over that screen and it lights up green for go and red for hot, but my clothes still come out wet!

This is not a new problem for me.

According to my wife, who was raised in a military home, I didn’t know how to load a dishwasher or fold towels properly until I was in my forties.

I pray my father-in-law has a quick recovery.

Until then these expensive, futuristic appliances will sit, while I trek off to the laundromat.

After all, I can’t afford to have anymore of my pants turn into doll clothes.

See you out there.