Jeff Dorris

Deliberations from Dorris

Jeff Dorris is the Editor of the Delta Dunklin Democrat


Let's Go to the Fair

Saturday, September 22, 2018

It's Delta Fair time again.

Iíve always enjoyed a good fair.

I would even schedule vacation time to return to Kennett each Fall to attend the Delta Fair.

Itís a great place to meet friends and relatives that you havenít seen in awhile.

As a younger man I enjoyed the carnival rides.

Nothing too terrifying.

A personal favorite was the Tilt-A-Whirl.

You couldnít get hurt too bad on that unless your on the end and getting squished as the large red bucket spins you around.

As I grew older I became more wary of rides.

Iím not big on heights so I tried to stay away from those types of rides.

However, on occasional dates or from the urging of friends and family Iíd venture onto the Octopus or the Scrambler, or if feeling particularly brave the roller coaster.

Anymore I enjoy the food and the visiting and watching my kids and grandkids on the rides.

Two examples follow, why I no longer get on carnival rides.

Example one concerns a ride that spins you around at a high rate of speed and then changes direction and spins you backward, while loud heavy rock music blares from the speakers.

I rode this with my daughter Stephanie who was around eight or so at the time.

Stephanie has always had lots of energy so I had asked her to wait for the ride to completely stop and hold my hand while we left the ride to meet up with the rest of the family.

The minute this harrowing three minute ride was over, Stephanie bolted from it like she was on fire.

I braced myself to pull up and catch her and to my amazement, I had no legs.

They were rubber.

I had tensed so hard during this fun little ride that I couldnít walk.

I yelled for the attendant to help me out as I watched her disappear into the crowd to find her sister and brother.


Example number two happened at a Six Flags amusement park.

My young son begged me to ride one of the biggest roller coaters at the park.

I reluctantly agreed.

Recently single I began chatting up the two blondes sitting in the seat in front of us as we slowly made the climb up the coaster.

All was well until we made our descent at an incredible breath-taking rate of speed.

As a high pitched scream that could be heard all over the park escaped me, I latched onto the seat rail in front of us with a vise-like grip.

Unfortunately, I managed to grab the blondeís long hair along with it, pulling her head back and causing her to scream as well.

Her friend began to yell at me, telling me to let her friend go.

I could not.

Ten strong men couldnít pry my fingers from that guardrail.

Those girls cussed us when the ride ended, while I apologized and pulled long strands of blond hair from between my fingers.

My son is grown now and still reminds me of the time I snatched that poor woman bald-headed at Six Flags.

I donít do rides.

About the only thing Iíll do now is pick up a plastic duck and see what Iíve won.

Letís all go to the Delta Fair and enjoy every bit of it.

Food, exhibits, the Derby and Tractor Pull, and yes even the rides.

Itís a great time to catch up with everyone.

See you out there.

Just not on the rides.

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