Annoying the wife

I have a good marriage.

I have a really, good marriage.

However, I required some training.

Fortunately, my wife was a good instructor. She believes pain is a required corrective tool.

Here are some things I’ve learned that annoy my wife and I imagine most of yours.

Pretending to listen.

Don’t just nod your head and grunt occasionally. That’ll get you a painful corrective measure.

Don’t leave wet towels on the bathroom floor.

You don’t live in a motel.

Forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Get a calendar, write these dates down. It will save you a lot of stress, to say the least, believe me.

Don’t contradict her in front of others. In these cases a nod and a grunt will suffice.

Quit needing praise for every little chore, like taking out the trash.

Still working on this, truth be told.

I can stack some trash.

Being a bit too attached to mom can be problematic also.

An example would be, saying you prefer your mother’s cooking.

That will get you bologna sandwiches for a week.

Even if her roast beef is as tough as shoe leather, smile and chew.

I slip at times but I’m much better.

Although I break into a cold sweat whenever I see a large heavy, plastic, Tupperware spoon, or a house slipper, two of her favorite corrective tools.

Last but not least, if you want a happy marriage, guys, whatever you do, remember, put the toilet seat down!

See you out there.