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New Year's Resolutions
Jeff Dorris
I’ve made my share of resolutions throughout the years and most were about as useful as pouring lemon juice in your eyeballs.
Lose weight, stop drinking, stop smoking, take more trips, and read more.
The list of New Year’s resolutions go on and on.
How many of you have already surrendered and are eating that third donut while reading this?
Study after study has shown that by January 8, 25 percent of resolutions have fallen by the wayside and by the time the year ends fewer than 10 percent have been fully kept.
The Urban Dictionary offers this definition, New Year’s resolution: A goal that you propose then forget the next day.
Some of the more humorous resolutions I’ve read or heard are, How to figure out how to squeeze a 4th and 5th meal into my day...to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money, I’m sorry...try to put less than four chapsticks through the washer and dryer this year.
Those that do resolve to adhere to their resolutions tend to follow these six guidelines:
1. Resolutions revolve around small changes
2. Write down the resolution every day.
3. Have a strong “why”. Example, If your resolution is to do all your meal prep for the week in advance so you’d eat healthily and free up more time for life.
4. Make resolutions that benefit others.
5. Seek accountability
6. Make failure difficult.
In the spirit of trying to fulfill this year’s resolutions I’ve decided to take a look at these tips and see if they would work for me.
Small changes. Never going to happen. Go big or go home. Besides it would be even more humiliating when I fail to maintain small changes.
Write resolutions daily. Nope. I barely have this column completed by deadline.
Have a strong “why”. I have a strong dislike for the word “why”. Probably stemming from being a parent.
Pick up your toys. Why? Finish your meal. Why? Go to bed. Why?
It was my children’s favorite word right behind the word “mine”.
Resolutions should benefit others. Noble thought. This may even be doable, unless it involves childcare, lending money, or helping to move.
Accountability. I’m married. She holds me accountable constantly, never helped me keep one resolution. Come to think of it though, it does help increase my use of the word, “why”.
Make failure difficult. Well, this just sounds awful.
So it’s off to the start of a new year, a clean slate, new beginning..
I’m going to get right on this fresh batch of resolutions, as soon as I finish this third donut.
See you out there.