"Praise" is one way to describe what the little darlings come up with on their own. Parents might have a different take on what their offspring offer up at times. Take last Sunday during the children's moment with the preacher at First United Methodist Church.
Rev. Gary Carter was talking about Jesus rising from the tomb to the youngsters gathered round his feet. Specifically, he mentioned the breath of Jesus. Gary said Jesus' breath might have smelled like vinegar. I think his question was something like, "What do you think that smelled like?"
A young lad raised his hand very politely. When called upon John Clinton Poole said, "Vinegar smells like beer." Honestly, Gary could probably take this bunch of youngsters on the road with him and sell out auditoriums across the country with their one-liners. To his credit, and the immense relief of Matt and Teresa, Gary did not ask John Clinton how he knew what beer smelled like.
After church Matt attempted to help his son understand better how he was to respond to the preacher during children's church. Matt suggested that there are some things which probably did not need to be mentioned. I'm not sure if Matt was successful in making his case to John Clinton.
"Dad, the preacher said 'wine' and wine and beer are the same thing," John Clinton said. So there you have it. It's all the preacher's fault.
Some other nuggets that came across my desk this week included the following comments attributed to other youngsters.
"The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once and while she was driving and she turned into a telephone pole.'
"A Sunday School teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?' 'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he with just two worms?'
And yet a third Sunday School teacher is said to have asked the youth in her class, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anyone tell me what it is?' One child blurted out, 'Aces."
For the record, neither John Clinton Poole nor Silas McClain nor Reece Wood and certainly not Anna Beth Williams were the students referenced above. Thanks to Sid Jones for sharing those Sunday School, um, lessons, with us.
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Personal ads are nothing new to most of us, but sometimes a would-be Lothario needs to get a little creative in his thinking. Such was the case of this fellow over 100 years ago.
"About two weeks ago, Robt E. Blakemore wrote his name on one of a lot of eggs that were being shipped from here. He added that he was young, single and heart-whole and wanted to marry. He asked that any available young lady that chanced to get hold of the egg write him and exchange pictures. Well, this week he received an answer from Miss Emma Nicklas of Pittsburg, Penn., who seemed anxious to further investigate Bob's case. He answered in his most convincing way and it need not surprise anyone if a happy marriage occurs from so small a beginning as a message scribbled on an egg."
I've gotta tell you my curiosity has been raised as to whether or not a marriage did result from the egg message. Someone will have to dig into family history to find out that answer though because this item came from the pages of the Dunklin Democrat on April 6, 1900. Much gratitude to the DDD's unofficial, but much appreciated historian, Vivian Helton for passing this along.
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The local club was treated to a program last week from Vanessa Pandian, occupational therapist at National Health Care. She shared some interesting tips, according to the editor of the club's newsletter.
"Tip for the day: when doing a task push instead of pulling; it is less strenuous."
The editor immediately applied what he had learned.
"No pot winner, although everyone was pulling for Terry (Berry). Guess they should have pushed."
Bud Hunt is publisher of the Daily Dunklin Democrat, Daily Statesman, Delta News-Citizen, Missourian-News and
North Stoddard Countian.