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Saturday, Aug. 1, 2015

THE ANSWER MAN

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Q: Were sand greens in golf easier to putt?

A: They were a bad putter's paradise.

Last Sunday's "View From The Square" had a contribution from unofficial historian, Vivian Helton, about a golf match on the Kennett Golf Course. The match was played in 1936.

The scores listed were pretty good. Bud Hunt then added: The scores were even more impressive in light of the fact the game was played on sand greens.

It is uncertain at this time, but a youngster like Bud may never have played golf on sand greens.

The so-called "sand greens." ( a better description might have been "sand deposits" ) were perfect circles, and smaller than what we have in greens today.

When the ball hit one of these deposits it came to an immediate halt, and stuck like flies to molasses. Much like our sand traps today, it took a "frozen rope" line-drive to crash through one of them.

Then came the putting...... First of all the sand was well oiled. (You came home with this oil visible on your pants.) You didn't have to putt through rough sand.

On each pile was long pipe that had another pipe attached horizontally on the end. This acted as a drag.

You then drug a path smoother than a baby's cheek from hole to your ball.

One no, no, was to never let an opponent do the dragging for your ball. Certain devious characters through practice and evil design could apply pressures that would always make your ball swerve either right or left.

Providing you did the dragging, the results were not too long a putt on a smooth path straighter than a Bootheel highway, and absolutely no undulations

as found on most grass green of today. Since the sand was not raked on the other side of the hole, it took a faster-than-a- speeding- bullet putt not to stop quickly if you missed your target.

Three-putts in those days were as rare as a maiden's kisses, and first putts were made more often. It was a bad putter's paradise!!

Since putting is so essential to good scores, the sand greens probably helped those 1936 scores.

More impressive in those scores was the condition of the golf course in 1936 - and most of all - the inferior equipment those guys had to deal with compared to the long graphite shafts, and big headed drivers used today - not to mention a much improved golf ball.

Q: Has Osama ben Laden changed his ways about doing things?

A: He has decided to be no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Osama ben Laden has announced that he will kill any American captives if we give the death penalty to admitted 9/11 plotter Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

Like we didn't know he was capable of doing this sort of thing.

Let's see: For years now he has strapped dynamite around hopelessly brain washed teenagers, and sent them off to slaughter innocent people. He pats the loony bird's mother on the back, and gives her a medal.

If a Muslim or two just happens to get killed in one of those suicide bombings he just puts that down to tough luck. Besides, he says Muslims like to die, and Americans want to live. Yeah, it's one of those things we need to get out of our system.... hard habit to break.

If Osama is so anxious to buy the farm you have wonder why he keeps sending other people to do it for him. We have truck drivers here who would gladly grind him into the asphalt, and send him to paradise.

Osama like to use be-heading as a form of punishment. He puts it on television too - sort of a drastic reality show.

So after all those years of being so nice, he threatens to get nasty. Maybe a worse punishment for an American would be to walk those goat trails with him, and live in the pig sties we hope have become his abodes.

Have you noticed that not so many big time athletes here recently have adopted Muslim names? It was a fad for a while. Maybe now that Osama has decided to really get meany-faced it will come back in style.

The Answer man
The Answer Man