The Answer Man

A: It is a place that will provide entertainment for the entire Bootheel area - plays, comedy, music.

The SEMO Little Theater, and The Friends of Music have given us many nights of good entertainment: plays, comedy, military bands, and other music of all types.

On Friday night, March 19, 2010, the Friends of Music will have a musical presentation in Kennett's new Opera House.

The Opera House is a renovation of the James Kahn building on the square in Kennett. (There was an Opera House in this building in the early 1900's.)

We hope this is just the first in many great nights of entertainment.

You have to hand it to the people who do this sort of thing. There is more to living than just working, paying taxes, going to the grocery store, and watching TV.

The SEMO Little Theater, and The Friends of Music add to the quality of our lives.

Q: What is the Rotary Auction?

A: It is a campaign to raise money for charity.

All last week the Rotary Club ran an auction on a variety of merchandise, with all the proceeds going to a number of charities.

There were several people involved in this, but the hosts for this auction were the M&M boys, Mitchell and Mobley. (Keith &Matt.)

They confessed to being non-professional auctioneers. What a surprise!!

What we suspect here are two very nice guys who are closet ham actors - having a good time, and conducting a commendable service while doing so.

Q; Who is the most photographed man in America?

A: It has to be our State Representative, Terry Swinger.

It is difficult to open a D.D.D. without seeing one or two pictures of Rep. Terry Swinger.

Rep. Terry Swinger, palsy walsy with the governor. Rep. Terry Swinger shaking hands with Kennett's mayor, Wheeler.

Rep. Terry Swinger greeting a Bootheel contingent of Boy Scouts in Jeff City.

Rep. Terry Swinger on a hang glider over the Grand Canyon??? Rep. Terry Swinger a cross country ski champion???

It could happen?

Q: What is "Vogue?"

A: "Vogue" is a magazine depicting women in the last throes of starvation.

Men, if you ever by chance find a "Vogue" magazine in your mailbox, don't even bother to thumb through it. It is not for you.

The women in "Vogue" are tired, emaciated, creatures seemingly not long for this world. Almost skeletal, some of them are photographed in the prone position, limbs contorted, apparently lacking the strength to stand up.

A smile is hard to find in "Vogue" because most of the ladies are definitely irked about something. Maybe it's a hunger syndrome.

They also have a mysterious way about them. Heavy mascara eyelashes and eyebrows, they look at you with sullen eyes, sunken cheeks, and slightly parted lips. It's as if they had just emerged from some dark cavity in the earth where they had been tortured and dominated by evil beings.

The clothes they wear cannot be found at Walmart. Cannot be found at J.C. Penny, or Macy's. They probably can't be found anywhere, except in model showrooms where equally weird people are determined to set styles for some future galaxy.

Men, don't bother to open a "Vogue." It's a woman thing.

Q: What is second hand smoke.

A: It is lingering tobacco smoke, or that has already gone through someone else's lungs threatening to permeate yours.

The State of Missouri is seriously considering a bill that would ban smoking everywhere except in the privacy of your home - or maybe Death Valley.

It is highly understandable why non-smokers would want this bill to pass. Surprisingly, it might be the smokers themselves that would like this bill the most.

Many smokers now slink in dark places (leper colonies) to light up. Others are defiant, choosing to smoke wherever they choose. Being arrested and fined may really get some attention.

It's like the child that needs to be disciplined for his own good. Tough love.

A good start for this program may be the White House. The President smokes. Did you know that? He's trying to hold it to one cigarette per day. Talk about tough. It's like giving one jelly bean to a lion and expecting his stomach to stop grumbling.