[Nameplate] Fair ~ 84°F  
High: 95°F ~ Low: 74°F
Friday, Aug. 22, 2014

Two local guys tackle the big issues

Sunday, January 31, 2010

(Photo)
Bud Hunt publisher Daily Dunklin Democrat
Undercover

We fell it's only proper to give Mike Mowrer proper credit for his continued efforts at investigating healthcare reform from the inside.

Regular readers will recall Mike first launched his investigation last year just after he, apparently, fell out of favor with his new friends. After he almost single-handedly delivered the election to them they snubbed him when it came time to become the White House dog walker. At least that's his take on it. I believe it's simply because Mike doesn't know any Portuguese.

Mike's undercover work began just about the time the administration began talking about healthcare reform. Then talk stalled out and Mike came out from his clandestine operation.

Well, like the trooper he is, once healthcare became a home topic Mike took it upon himself to go back undercover. This time, however, he checked out the facilities in Jonesboro, having already learned all there was to learn about the Memphis situation last year.

Since the report is, er, classified, I don't know what the findings were from the latest excursion. However, just like last time, once the healthcare debate cooled following the election of Scott Brown in Massachusetts, Mike is no longer undercover.

One thing was for sure. Even though he was deep undercover Mike still had his Blackberry with him. Armed with that knowledge I made an attempt to reach him last week and was successful.

"Bud:

"Your message blew my cover. It turns out St. Bernard's has hIred Ashcroft & Associates as security manager. All incoming and outgoing digital signals are intercepted and analyzed.

"I was told I would be here for 10 days after the surgery on 1-21-10. As I write this my discharge order has been written. I did not complete my mission and Ashcroft got a performance bonus."

Does that mean healthcare is a dead issue for the time being? It would seem so based on Mike's activities.

* * *

More undercover stuff

Most of us are aware of the mess Tiger Woods has gotten himself into and to some degree his efforts to extricate himself from said mess.

It was learned Tiger is in rehab. Specifically, he's in rehab for a sex addiction. Early on all we knew was that it was in Mississippi. Subsequently we learned that the rehab clinic is in Hattiesburg, Miss. As you can imagine security in Hattiesburg and around the clinic in particular is quite heavy.

As you can imagine reporters, cameramen (and women), paparazzi and some golf fans have made an effort to actually locate Tiger and get a photo. It would worth millions.

Although I suspect the golf fans would be more interested in just saying hello and not trying to profit from his predicament. At least that's the story one local fellow who spent a little time in Hattiesburg is trying to convince everyone of back home.

Gerry Gamble is pretty adamant he wasn't even looking for Tiger when he was in Hattiesburg. He is just as adamant that he was only passing through Hattiesburg and was not there for any length of time.

* * *

How cold is it?

In the heyday of sailing ships, all warships and many freighters carried iron cannon balls. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem ... how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations.

However, if the plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys." Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.

Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey."

And all this time you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you.

Tip of the hat to Ron Myers for sending that little tidbit along.

* * *

Update

We have the very good pleasure of telling you that Clay Adams did indeed get his brand spanking new boat rescued from the bottom of the pond where his duck blind in located. The water went down and with help from his dad, Eddie, the boat was pulled to dry land.

I haven't heard yet how Clay's experiment with sinking the boat to fool the ducks into thinking the hunter had drowned worked out. And folks are anxiously waiting to see what tricks Clay might have up his sleeve for next year.

* * *

Here it is again, last week of January/first of February and we're looking at ice again. It this destined to be out fate every year now?

Bud Hunt is publisher of the

Daily Dunklin Democrat, Daily Statesman, Delta News-Citizen, Missourian-News and

North Stoddard Countian.