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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Q: Where is a good place to get some laughs?

Sunday, October 4, 2009

A: The Kennett Golf Course is a fine place to start.

* The elderly Gold Tee group at Kennett takes quite a bit of time getting from the tee-box to the green. But sometimes it takes them even longer to get off the green. They walk off at a pace of indecisive turtles, wondering where their next destination will be.

* Carlos Woodard is a dramatic exception to slow pace golf. All agree that four Carlos Woodards could probably play Pebble Beach in about thirty minutes.

Carlos would have been a star polo player. We sometimes wonder why he even bothers to leave his cart to hit a shot.

* Power hitter, J.R. Brazeal, has found places on Kennett Golf Course previously unknown. On number nine one day J.R. hit a frozen rope second shot that struck a green cover that was lying off the green. The ball bounded furiously off the cover and into the hole for an Eagle!!! J.R. then had the audacity to say he played it that way.

* Jingo Cole says he has a great short game - until he gets around the greens.

* Natalie Tate was beaming with pleasure when she brought a "gold" ball to the first tee. It looked like one of those Easter eggs you see in a basket. On her first tee shot Natalie took a mighty swing, topping the ball about ten yards off the tee. There it was, glistening in the sun. We all stood in awe - wondering whether that sucker was going to hatch.

* In "Captain's Golf" there is a new captain for every hole. He hits his shot and then chooses a partner based on what kind of shot they hit. On number thirteen one day Gib Ennis was captain, and his lead-off shot was an awful mess. Following him was Jimmy Walker, who promptly hit it in the hole for a hole-in-one. The ever cautious, Ennis, said, "I think I choose him."

* The popular, Gerry Gamble, is Strawboss for the Gold Tee Group. He conscientiously makes up teams based on fairness and balance. When Gerry doesn't show up mass confusion arises. When someone finally takes the bull by the horn they are always accused of favoring their own team. What would you do - make up teams you know can beat you???

* James Miller and Stan Moffit always ride together when they play. Just why is uncertain, because they fuss and fight from the beginning to the end. Anyway, it's worth the price of admission to hear this absolute nonsense.

* The late, and very likeable, Don Jones, had a pat answer for every bad shot he hit. When he hit a lemon he would turn and mournfully say, "I didn't mean to do that."

* There is the Natchez Trace, the Santa Fe Trail, and the Trail of Tears. On number twelve at Kennett is the Wilkison Trail. For a lifetime Gerald Wilkison has attacked this hole by way of the trees. He used to slice it through. Now he uses a hook. Sometimes he makes it, and sometimes he doesn't. Thus, "The Wilkison Trail."

* The indomitable, Keith Mitchell, has the distance to drive number sixteen at Kennett. There are, however, a number of trees that often hinder his progress.

One of these days he's going to make it. And when he does his many friends plan a gala celebration.

* Number fifteen at Kennett has a hill on the left side, and another on the right.

They are the only hills on the couse. For some unknown reason number fifteen is called, "The Dolly Parton" hole.

* All of us back on number one tee box were wondering whether J.R. Brazeal

was in the trap way out there on the right. Gerry Gamble finally surmised, it's either that or his legs have been sawed off.

* A few days ago Bob Dogoli hit a screaming line drive into the rocks on number seven pond. The ball bounded over his head going about forty yards behind him. Bob said he had put some extra back-spin on it.

* Another guy everyone misses is Rodney Riggs. Several years back he got a good message from his doctor; saying that he would be able to play golf as well as he ever did. Rodney said he had hoped for a hell of a lot better report than that.

* Doc Tate's golfing skills diminished as he aged. It didn't seem to bother him, and everyone admired his stoicism. Doc said that if he ever lost his temper he wouldn't have anything left in the game.

Golf is the perfect stage for un-rehearsed humor. Most amateur golfers have hopes and ambitions, only to see them whip-lashed by inadequacy. We struggle, we fill the air with obscenities, we swear never to play again; and show up eager and ready the next day. Although we ever search for the "golden go," it is the sense of humor that sustains us. Without it we are doomed.

The Answer man
The Answer Man