Traveling in foreign lands can sometimes cause problems for those of us who call the Bootheel home. Here are a couple of instances that prove my point.

Steve Pu was recently dining in a fine, upscale Italian restaurant. One where they serve the meal in courses, about seven I think.

At some point during the meal Steve developed a severe stomach ache/cramp. He needed immediate relief. Excusing himself from the table, Steve dashed off to the restroom. Apparently the situation was near critical by this point.

Let me try to be delicate here. Steve relieved himself of the pain, but sitting there heard female voices nearby. He waited, probably thinking about all those jokes he's heard about women going to be restroom in pairs. Of course, given his current predicament he was probably glad more than one came into the restroom and made a little conversation so he didn't walk out of the stall with just one female in the room.

I can hear him now, "It's okay. I'm a trained medical professional." Washing his hands and going right on out the door.

That's not what happened. He waited until all got quiet again and then proceeded to slink out of there. Turning to look at the door he saw the word "Donne" in big bold letters. "Donne," in Italian means "womenfolk."

As I was to learn, Steve's was not an isolated case.

Jack Holifield is also known to do a little traveling and also enjoys fine dining on occasion. Jack's experience took place at a restaurant with a western theme. In a similar bit of a hurry, Jack spied a bathroom door that he said, read "Settlers." Jack glanced at the other door which he said read, "Pioneers."

Jack went straight on through the door. I don't think he made it as far as the aforementioned doctor before hearing female voices. When he came back out the door, Jack took a closer look at the sign. The sign on the door actually read, "Setters" and the companion door sign read "Pointers."

Yes sir, traveling outside the Bootheel can be tricky, but for the record, Steve was in Florida and Jack was in Mississippi. Despite all the jokes that come to mind, that's still the good ol' USA.

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Good peach crop?

There is little merriment to the Russian invasion of the sovereign country of Georgia. However, I do want to point on the confusion headlines about Russia invading "Georgia" brought on one fellow.

This guy, who shall be nameless to protect the guilty, and because he lives too close to the local newspaper guy, simply could not understand why Russia launched such an attack. By his own admission he asked several of his colleagues at work that question.

"Do they want Atlanta," he asked.

I think it was his wife who finally set him straight that no it wasn't Atlanta; it wasn't even a good peach crop. In fact, it wasn't even that Georgia. He was slightly embarrassed, to say the least.

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Payoff time

Last week I mentioned the good fortune Damon Richardson enjoyed on the golf course with his hole-in-one on the 13th hole at the local course. He was also gently chided for slinking away with his son, Ryan to enjoy the moment instead of celebrating with a gathering crowd of friends at the local watering hole.

It was pointed out to me that this coming weekend's tournament, a two-made scramble, would bring many more of his friends to town. The word I get is that Damon wanted to wait until more of his friends were on hand to hear all about his glorious shot.

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Mailbox

The DDD's unofficial, but much appreciated historian sent along an interesting clipping from the Thursday, November 23, 1893 edition. A letter was reprinted in that edition and caught her eye. A little later I'll share some of that letter, but space dictates a couple of shorter clips today.

"'C.C.C. Certain Chill Cure' is pleasant to take and harmless. Children like it. Guaranteed to cure Chills and Fever. Large bottles 50 cents. Sold by John H. Dunmire."

Stoves For Everybody

"We have received a whole car load of cooking and heating stoves, of the best make and latest patterns and want to sell them. We saved a whole lot in freight and will give purchasers the benefit. Riggs & Co., Kennett."

Stray Notice

"Notice is hereby given that the undersigned, living in Clay township, Dunklin county Mo., shall take up as a stray a certain mile found in my pasture, described as follows: A black horse mule, about 15 years old; has a white spot on right shoulder, two white spots on left hip, white ring around root of tail. If owner does not appear within thirty days said animal will be posted before some justice of the peace of said county.

"Dated Nov. 21, 1893 A. Biggs"