I have never bought into the notion that a giver should just give, to either an institution or individual, without regard to how that institution or individual manages the gifts received.

That reasoning has always been lost to me, making no sense at all. Furthermore, that reasoning abrogates both the giver and the recipient of responsibility. Neither should be irresponsible.

An experience I had in Memphis this past weekend has prompted by thoughts about this again. We had tickets to hear the Memphis Symphony perform "Mancini and Moonlight." The music and experience were wonderful!

Before going to the Cannon Performing Arts Center, we enjoyed dinner a few blocks away at a fine restaurant. That experience was also wonderful! There was someone, however, lurking and about to test the "fineness" of the evening.

From the parking place, we walked to the restaurant and then walked to the Center. Unusually, I thought, there were very few people on the sidewalk. It was about 7:30 p.m.

As we were walking to the Center, a man who was, I'm guessing, in his 30s approached. He was apparently happy. He was smiling from ear to ear. He looked well fed and healthy. He had nice clothes. He was clean-shaven and well groomed.

He complimented us and handed me an official-looking veteran's identification card.

He then complimented us more and said we should enjoy a nice dinner. I commented, "We just did enjoy a nice dinner. Thank you."

That is when I learned what he was really up to. "How would you like to help a homeless veteran with a nice meal tonight?" he asked.

Several thoughts raced through my mind. I was already apprehensive about what this guy was up to. I had been recalling various moves I might attempt should he attack us -- moves I learned more years ago than I care to remember on my way to earning a brown belt in Judo. Visions of the movie "Ghost" flashed through my mind.

He was walking immediately to my right so I was watching him with my peripheral vision and wishing I had a concealed weapons permit!

When I told him, "No," his demeanor immediately changed and he had an angry expression on his face. He continued walking with us for a few paces and then said, "Well, God bless you." I replied, "God bless you."

Few people have more empathy for veterans than I do. My son is a veteran. One of my dear friends is a veteran, one who could claim disability but who chooses instead to work.

I know there are "legitimate homeless veterans," although I must admit to having difficulty understanding how there could be. This guy, however, gives a poor qualification to any definition of a homeless veteran.

I wanted to ask him, "If you're homeless, how do you remain so clean-shaven? How do your clothes remain so clean? How do you manage to be so healthy looking if you have difficulty finding a meal?

That fellow is one of those who had rather spend his time preying on the "good graces" of others than to find a way to be productive in society. Being gracious to him, however, is not simply giving him money for a meal but rather to encourage him to become something -- namely productive.

For the giver in these kinds of circumstances, don't buy into that fallible notion that you give what you give and let the recipient be responsible for what is done with the gift.

A good steward should examine the behavior and practices of those to whom he is giving, whether an individual or institution. To do less is irresponsible with the gift given to you enabling you to be a giver yourself.

Jack Rollins is the managing editor of the Daily Dunklin Democrat.