There are some folks in the area who should not change a thing. They're perfect, or at least as perfect as we're going to get here on earth. I'm talking about our "Secret Santas" who pitched in on the newspaper's Christmas season program. Thanks to all who were a part of making sure many of our children received something from Santa Claus this year. In particular, there are a couple who came in at the last minute and took care of the remaining 18 "angels" on that last Friday before Christmas.
Mike Hunter should resolve to pay the entry fee of Brian Shumate in this year's three-man scramble golf tournament to defend the crown the team won last year. And if Mike has to pay the entry fee of Brian's dad, Ken, to make sure Brian plays, well he can just dig a little deeper.
Patrick "The Dog Slayer" McHaney and Matt "The Dog" Shetley should resolve to square off in one final head-to-head competition that will settle this rivalry once and for all. In last year's only one on one competition, Matt took Patrick off to some little course that was formerly a goat ranch in Arkansas, a course Matt had played numerous times but one which Patrick was only vaguely familiar with, to claim 2006 honors.
Last year it was suggested David Lynn learn to hit a slice from the tee box. He worked hard at that and became so frustrated he has resolved to go back to his faithful little draw and begin collecting money from his playing partners again.
Early in the new year Dwight Blankenship should resolve to take his wife, Janet on that snow-filled vacation she's always dreamed about. The freak blizzard at Bristol, Tenn., for the running of the Food City 500 does not qualify. This gal wants to ski, sit around a lodge with a big fire going and sip hot tea.
Jo Nell Minton should resolve to send her friend Kevin Wade his birthday gift on his birthday this year instead of two weeks late. Poor Kevin probably gets confused as to what his actual birthday is after Jo Nell sent his gift two weeks late for the last several years.
Several of our area gents are making plans for their annual ski trip. A few suggestions for them as well; Darren Harris should try to rent a snowmobile with training wheels on it, John McClellan should buy a new helmet to replace the one he cracked last year when he dove head-first into a pile of snow and Tim McPherson should buy a second helmet to strap on the other end and perhaps make his landings from the ski jumps a little softer.
Mark Moore should resolve to take at least one swing at a golf ball from the correct side of the ball. Of course one good thing about being a port-sider is that Mark always has the excuse he wasn't standing on the right side of the ball.
Mike Mowrer should resolve not to put up any yard signs in his neighbor's yard next year. Actually, Mike can wait for about 10 more years until Susan Luce hits another magical number with a 0 tacked on to her age.
Linda Shannon should resolve to find another baby-sitter for her husband, Grover, this year. Megan Walker is getting much too busy.
Instead of just slowing down and waving at him, John Robertson should stop and offer to help Mike Walker cut the grass when the temperature approaches triple digits. Rumor has it Sandy makes a mean glass of lemonade.
Jack Holifield should drive a little slower on his way to church on Sunday mornings. Honestly, other than "My wife's having a baby," don't you think MSHP's finest have heard "I'm late for church," more than any other excuse for um, hurrying along on the roadways?
Joe Stillman should, well never mind. I promised Joe I wouldn't write about him so if you think he needs to make any resolutions tell him yourself.
Steve Pu should resolve to go into the Christmas lawn decorating business. Between Steve and his neighbor, Don Collins, it looked like Times Square over on the west end of town all month. I know Don did all of his own decorating and assume Steve did his as well.
Marsha Blanchard should, and probably has, resolved to run at least one full marathon in the coming year. I mean after that first 13.1 miles the second can't be all that much harder.
Damon Richardson should go ahead an install that flat screen plasma TV on his boat. After all, Damon went all year and kept his new boat on top of the water for a change.
If Mark Pelts resolves to only trade clubs once a week the stock of such suppliers as TaylorMade, Calloway and Ping will take a big hit this year. Of course knowing Mark, I wouldn't take a short position on either of those stocks.
Will and Jill Mobley should resolve to leave church just a little on Sunday mornings, maybe when they start singing the final hymn. That way their son, Joe, can get to the buffet before "it's been picked over by the Methodists."
Lanny Geary should resolve to get one more part time job to go along with tutoring a math class, teaching at the local college, travel agent, coordinating the chili supper for KHS's choir, serving as a bank director and being Lynne's handyman.
Kim Lowry should resolve to get Donnie's golf cart back to him on time when she borrows it. Of course, it's his own fault for getting her addicted to the game in the first place.
Jim Pry should resolve to never, ever, under any circumstances listen to Donnie Burke when it comes to snack food.
Tim Simmons should resolve to quit being so rough on the basketball court. Some folks who play in the game with him are walking around, barely, with injuries they received a year ago.
Neal Gibbons should resolve to get a water bed this year. Neal admitted he really enjoyed sleeping on a water bed but had to give it up because he almost drown one night. I can't remember all the details to tell you why.
Barbara Williams and Jerris Woodard should resolve to let Carl and Carlos win one night of their weekly card game. Just one. This suggestion has been made for the last couple of years and apparently hasn't been taken yet. The girls are pretty hard on the guys.
I have it on pretty good authority Jeff Lack won't be making any resolutions for the coming year. Word on the street is that there's nothing which needs to be changed.
The local newspaper guy should resolve to quit telling those embarrassing stories about the local folks. Then again, some of them are pretty funny. At least the stories on everybody else are funny, aren't they?












