Answer: The Gamma Knife Procedure uses non-invasive surgery.

This is by no stretch of the imagination an attempt to meddle in the affairs of dedicated professionals who have worked for years through education and practice to diagnose and advise.

What it is meant to do is make some people aware of a type of non-invasive surgery that they may not have heard of before, so that they might consult a true professional for advice.

The Gamma Knife procedure is not a gimmick, nor is it experimental. It was developed 30 years ago in Sweden, and more than 200,000 patients have undergone the procedure worldwide. It is also approved by Medicare and the majority of insurance companies.

The Gamma Knife uses a process of non-invasive surgery. It has had success in cases, including benign and malignant brain tumors, acoustic neurona, arteriovenous malformations, and trigeminal neuralgia. It uses radio surgery to isolate on the damaged, or diseased area, and is harmless to the surrounding tissue.

Writing as the Answer Man is a fun experience for anyone who likes to put things down on paper. In doing so I have always made it a definite point not to use the first person, "I." I deviate from this one time, because talking from actual experience normally has more impact than generalization; and if one person finds a possible relief from suffering, then it becomes worthwhile.

I have experienced the thrills and joys of trigeminal neuralgia.

Speaking simply in layman terms, the trigeminal nerve's function is to serve as a healthy warning system to recognize pain. But... when it goes haywire, there is hell to pay!

My trigeminal neuralgia was correctly identified by a local dentist who referred me to a neurologist. Why a dentist? Because the pain of trigeminal neuralgia is in the facial area, and can easily be mistaken for an extreme dental problem.

Trigeminal neuralgia (tic douloureux") produces one of the most excruciating pains known to mankind -- so much so it is often called the "suicide disease."

A person with trigeminal neuralgia has limited options: One, they can find a drug to partially control it. (Probably limited in duration of control.) Two, they can have invasive surgery, or the possibility of non-invasive surgery. Three, they can find a nice tall building to jump from.

I write this because it has been just about three years since my Gamma Knife surgery, with no return of pain, or discomfort.

The Gamma Knife procedure is completely painless. Depending on the extent of injury, it usually requires less than an hour of gamma radiation.You are wheeled into a a large machine where you will be monitored by a neurosurgeon, radiation oncologist, and a radiation physicist. You will be able to communicate with people on the outside. In my own case, a question as to my comfort actually awakened me from a relaxed and dreamy state.

About the only discomfort involved in Gamma Knife surgery is that a medal helmet must be fastened to the head to insure stability during the procedure. A nurse was applying my helmet when I said to her in a humorous vein,"If I didn't know better, I would swear you are screwing that thing onto my head." She answered, "That's exactly what I am doing."

Four screws actually bolt the helmet to the head. Of course a local anesthesia has been applied to reduce the pain to no more than an annoyance. But the head must be stable.

I am writing this because I am nearing the third anniversary of a relief from pain. The Gamma Knife was for me a gift from heaven. Until I was referred to this procedure I didn't know it existed -- had never heard of it. It could be a possible option for someone else who desperately needs help. Trigeminal neuralgia only happens to one in every one hundred & fifty thousand people. But as stated above, Gamma Knife surgery has been successful for other disorders. There may be some people who should run -- not walk -- to their physician for consultation.

There are several Gamma Knife facilities in various parts of the country. The Memphis Regional Gamma Knife Center is located on the campus of Methodist University Hospital, Memphis, Tennessee.

Question: What is the worst "Shaggy Dog Story" ever?

Answer: Why be specific? They are all the worst.

Shaggy Dog Stories ("groaners") are easier to digest in small doses. Here are a few just short enough to make you only slightly ill:

A three-legged dog walked into a bar apparently looking for trouble. He said, in a highly irate manner, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

"What do you get when you cross a hen and a dog?" "Pooched eggs."

"A fellow said, "My dog, Minton, just ate two of my expensive shuttlecocks." "What do I say to properly scold Minton?" A friend said, "You say, Bad Minton!"

It was a dark and stormy night when a Knight found a stable to rent a horse, so that he could carry out some noble deed. "All the horses are rented out," the owner said. "How about a donkey?" asked the Knight. "No donkeys," said the owner. "How about that big, smelly dog over in the corner? I could ride him." "Oh, I couldn't do that," answered the owner. "Why not?" asked the Knight. The owner said, "I wouldn't put a Knight out on a dog like this."

A man dressed up as a horse -- made a complete foal of himself.

"I love hot dogs," said Tom, with relish.

Although she was deathly afraid of mice, it didn't keep her from eeking out a living working in a pet store.

"What is Asphalt?" asked the sucker. "A donkey with some sort of defect," answered the smart alec.

What do you call a pet snake that is well behaved? A civil serpent.

There's a new book out entitled "Winning Big." The author's name is Jack Potts.

A fellow answered a knock at the door. There in the doorway was a giant cockroach. The cockroach punched the poor fellow in the stomach and left. The next night the same thing, except this time the cockroach struck the fellow in the face. The guy goes to a doctor to have his injuries tended. "What's going on to have this happen?" asked the poor fellow. "Oh," said the doctor. "There's some kind of nasty bug going around."

That's enough even in small doses. But keep in mind: Never insult an alligator unless you have already crossed the river.