Getting right to the heart of the matter, which happens to be your pocket, let me state that most vacationers spend altogether too much money. Stay at expensive motels and spend your money like a lunatic, if you want to. But I tell you, friends, there's no greater pleasure than squeezing a nickel until that old buffalo begs for mercy. Careful economizing will also get you closer to the grass roots of America, and you may have to eat them, too. But we'll come to that shortly, Now, pay attention:

How to save on gasoline

Learn to take advantage of every opportunity. When traveling bumper to bumper in heavy traffic, shut off you motor and let the car behind you push. He won't know the difference and you can cover miles for free. I once traveled that way from the Holland Tunnel to Pittsburgh and only had to start up the motor a few times so I could get to a men's room.

How to save on food

Outdoor cooking presents fabulous opportunities for all sorts of economies. Dandelion weeds cooked with tree bark are both tasty and surprisingly filling. If you are fortunate enough to camp near a garbage dump, you are likely to find tons of nutritious leftovers, such as potato parings, loaded with vitamins and delicious. Simplicity, friends, is the keynote. The Chinese have long ago learned that a diet of rice and locusts kept them healthy and mentally alert. (For instance, most of them speak Chinese beautifully--a very difficult language!)

How to save on hotel bills

Man made the hotels, but God made the trees, so why not sleep in them and fell closer to your Maker? It takes only a little practice--an occasional 30-foot fall or two--to learn that you must not turn in your sleep. Until I became acquainted with this healthful and money-saving habit, little did I dream how well meaning my friends were when they told me to go climb a tree.

How to save on admission charges

Go to your doctor and ask him to give you a note certifying that your wife is actually your 9-year-old daughter suffering from a glandular disorder. This will get her into amusement parks, scenic attractions and boat rides at half price. If you have children under five, they can be hidden in suitcases. (Note: Breathing holes a must!)

Dr. A.O. Goldsmith of Kennett is a retired director of the School of Journalism, Louisiana State University.