History is not boring and neither are historical accounts of the sex lives of famous princes and kings. But, it is a sign of the times that while Prince Charles is marrying a divorcee, no one is losing his head, that is actually getting it chopped off, and placed, in all its horror, on display as a warning to the unwashed masses of Princess Diana freaks. And, the Church of England is in no danger from his mommy the Queen (the church boss lady) because of the debate about Prince Charles marrying the reassuringly plain-looking Mrs. Camilla Parker Bowles.

One does find it amusingly hypocritical that the opinion of the Church of England has been sought as to where and how Charles is to marry a divorced woman, except that as the future king he would become the Defender of the Faith, and Head of the Church of England. And, at Charles' crowning, the Primate of all England, the Archbishop of Canterbury, should have to preside over the Coronation; and administer the holy sacrament of communion to the morally muddled couple.

It should be remembered that the "Act of Settlement" of 1701 requires Charles to be a member of the Established Church and Defender of its Faith, a faith that doesn't "allow" divorce. One presumes that Charles, as King of England, could require the church to include in the ceremony, and recognize as his consort, the divorced Mrs. Camilla Parker Bowles. All that seems more two-faced that it actually is, because the Church of England was factually founded to serve "divorce?" So it's absurd today (as it was in 1936 when Nazi sympathizer, Edward VIII, gave up his throne for the divorced Wallis Simpson, and became the Duke of Windsor) that any stink at all should come from a church that was founded, in law, by Henry the VIII so that he could marry his lover Anne Boleyn, who, by the way, was already four months pregnant by him. Henry wanted a divorce from his queen, Catherine, but the Pope would not grant him a divorce, so Henry, on May 15, 1332, along with the English Parliament, separated from the papacy, and declared the independence of the Church of England from Rome, and Henry as its head. Things became a lot easier for Henry after he became Head of the Church of England, because (1) the Pope was not handing out divorces for free, and (2) Henry was therefore finding it both necessary and exceedingly more difficult to find excuses for murdering his "unproductive" wives. If a wife didn't present Henry with a male heir, she was as good as dead. As the Defender of the Faith and top dog in the Church of England, he got his divorce when the Archbishop of Canterbury (Cranmer) declared his previous Catholic marriage with Catherine unlawful and void, and on May 28,1533, the Archbishop of Canterbury (with the same authority as the Archbishop of Canterbury today) pronounced Anne to be Henry's lawful wife. Of course, Pope Clement pronounced the new marriage null, and its future offspring illegitimate, and excommunicated the King (July 11, 1533). On September 7, Elizabeth was born. The Pope's ambassador reported to him that the King's "mistress had given birth to a bastard." [Pollard, A. F., Henry VIII, London, 1925, p.187] That "bastard" was to become Elizabeth I, perhaps the greatest ruler England ever had, more on her some other time. Suffice now to say, she never married, and as they said in her time, she was "dangerous to bed."

Henry and Charles have more than divorce in common. They have each had their pillow talk with their girlfriends "recorded." Remember those intimate taped phone calls between Charles and Camilla? Well, here's a sample of Henry's ardor for his pregnant girlfriend, Anne. At the writing of this letter Henry was fighting his huge battle with the Catholic Church for not giving him a divorce. Here is Henry's letter, now in the public domain, but I quote from M. L. Schuster's, "Treasury of the World's Great Letters," N. Y., 1940, page 77. Henry, one of the few kings who could read and write, writes in the English of his day: "Myne awne Sweetheart, this shall be to advertise you of the great ellingness [loneliness, kk] that I find here since your departing; for, I ensure you, me thinketh the Tyme longer since your departing now last than I was wont to do a whole Fortnight; I think your Kindness and my Fervence of love causeth it . . . But now that I am coming toward you, me thinketh my Pains by half released . . . in wishing my self (especially an Evening) in my Sweethearts Armes whose pretty Duckys [breasts, kk] I trust shortly to kysse. Writne with the Hand of him that was, is, and shall be yours by his will, H.R."

After their marriage, Henry made it a capital offense to question his marriage to Anne, or the legitimacy of their children. All Englishmen and women were required to take an oath of loyalty to the King and his sovereignty over the Church and state in England. The act made it treason to speak or write of the King as a usurper, tyrant, schismatic, heretic, or infidel. The act is still on the books in England, too bad they haven't used it in a couple of a hundred years. But, I really wouldn't want to see a CNN gossip-gooser hanged, cut down alive, disemboweled and howling while being dismembered, just for slinging a little mud. However, they knew how to deal out real torture those days. Things were very different then. But, I can't find a single reference for the dreaded Abu Ghraib "panties over the face" torture in all of history. It's probably because they spilled real guts in Henry's time. That was torture. Now days, when some poor bored female army specialist becomes innovative with panties during a pre-interrogation session with an Islamic savage terrorist, the lefty-press screams "torture!" That ain't torture.

Finally, the press will once again, as the wedding of Prince Charles and Mrs. Parker Bowles grows nearer, try to squeeze a little more "mileage" out the death of the late Princess Diana. But, try as they may, she will never be anything other than "famous." Sadly, hers was a wasted life in the face of so much opportunity. Let's face it. She was a spoiled, headstrong, shallow, young woman, but you see, she was "famous." And that's all the dull-witted masses need, "fame," to declare Diana "The Princess of the World."

Kenneth Kinchen is an independent writer with a background in international business and foreign service contracting.