The time you spend in eating and sleeping is non-productive time. Instead of frittering it away, try to make money building hi-fi sets.

Try making a hi-fi set with a guaranteed response of 800 to 1,000 cycles per second. (You can't make that much money making motorcycles.)

You have to have a good supply of enough kilocycles to last for years.

Of course, if you want to travel fast, buy a motorcycle. You can't do that with a kilocycle.

(You will need to learn how to tell a kilocycle from a motorcycle.)

Do you have a new car?

A new car is longer than your garage, so here a few tips on how to get the behemoth into the "car shed."

Cut two feet off of both front ends.

Ram the car into a sturdy brick wall, which will shorten the car two or three feet off the front, which will make it fit.

If you don't want to do all this, move your car into your house. You move into the garage.

If the rear end still sticks out of the garage, just open the trunk lid, shovel some dirt into the trunk and plant flowers in it.

Hinge the car in the middle and stack the back half on top of the front half, if the garage has a high ceiling.

It might be easier to remove the back of the garage, you can let the front end stick out onto the back yard and use the hood for a picnic table.

Getting your son into college

Here are some helpful questions and answers to help get your son into some college.

Q. My son is cheerful, well-mannered, talks nicely but is quite stupid. Is every college closed to him?

A. No, try barber college.

Q. I've heard that it is terribly expensive to send a boy to college.

A. Ridiculous! All a boy needs is $6,000 a year, a sports car and a subscription to Playboy magazine.

Q. Are the colleges in Russia more difficult than ours?

A. Certainly. Everything is taught in Russian. Who can understand it?

Q. My son's grades are nothing to boast about. It has taken him eight years to finish high school. However, I am prepared to set up a $250,000 endowment fund for any college that accepts him. Any suggestions?

A. Well, my dear sir. Brains aren't everything. I'm sure you son has tremendous assets, such as a bright smile and cheerful disposition. These things count at Yarvard, you know. So why not stop in and see me at the admissions office. Or, if you prefer, I'll come to you.

Q. My son has a 99 percent high school average, is editor of the school paper and captain of the debating team. Do you suppose I'll have any trouble getting him into college?

A. Not if he is also captain of the football team.

Q. Do you think a college education is really necessary for a girl?

A. Where else will she find a husband?

Dr. A.O. Goldsmith of Kennett is a retired director of the School of Journalism, Louisiana State University.