Police Begin Campaign

To Run Down Jaywalkers

Enraged Cow Injures

Farmer with Ax

Drunken Drivers

Paid $1,000

Juvenile Court to try

Shooting Defendants

Stolen Painting

Found by Tree

Some Questionable Questions:

Why fluorescent lights always hum?

Because they don't know the words.

Why are movie stars cool?

Because they have so many fans.

Everyone has a photographic memory.

Some just don't have any film.

Where do tough chickens come from?

Hard-boiled eggs.

What did the ant do when he killed another ant?

He committed pesticide.

What is round and really violent?

A vicious circle.

The lawyer named his daughter "Sue."

The cook named his son "Stu."

The hamburger cook named his daughter "Patty."

The mountain climber named his son "Cliff."

Actual questions asked in court rooms:

"How many times have you committed suicide?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?

"How far were you apart when the collision occurred?"

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"

"You were there until the time you left. Is this true?"

"These stairs that went down to the basement, did they go up also?"

"Why do doctors have to keep their temper?"

"Because they don't want to lose their patients."

A man ran into a doctor's office and said, "Doctor, you've got to help me. I feel like a deck of cards."

The doctor replied, "Please sit down and I'll deal with you later.'

Another man ran into the same doctor's office yelling:

"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."

"Come on," said the doctor, "pull yourself together."

Where can you enjoy fascinating characters at breakfast?

In a cereal novel.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

What runs around the cow pasture but never moves?

The fence

How does man on the moon get his hair cut?

Eclipse it.

If two are a couple and three is a crowd, what is five and four?

Nine.