Daily Dunklin Democrat

Off the Beaton Path -- the oxygen-pumped, smoke-filled houses of ill repute

Posted Tuesday, August 21, 2007, at 12:58 PM
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Good day blog-a-ronis. Don't worry; I have not fallen off the face of earth. I have spent many of my past few weeks away from the conveniences of modern technology. I have now returned to Hart Residential College (my dorm) at the home of the Racers, Murray State University. I hope to hop back on the blogging bandwagon and get things moving once again.

Despite the convincing persuasion of the scorching temperature, the summer is coming to a close, and I trust you had a pleasant one. As school prepares for take off I have plethora of meetings as we prepare for an eventful school year. Therefore, exciting stories are limited, that is unless you like hearing about parliamentary procedure and what the Murray State Student Government will doing on September 27 at 7 p.m.

Therefore, I will reach into a story from the recent past: two weeks ago. At one time the poorest county in Mississippi, Tunica, has become a happening spot for gamers. Well, now that I am 21, I decided that I should at least see what the hype is all about. I quickly discovered that the casinos do not pay for those fancy hotels by giving away money -- quite the contrary. Moreover, it is NOT FUN.

For those like myself who feel too inferior to play table games one is limited to the ever popular slot machine. So for the gambling ignorant, here's what you do in Tunica.

First you go to a casino and insert money into a machine, or possibly several machines, and press a button for about one hour. Then you leave the oxygen pumped, smoke filled house of ill repute and go to another casino with the EXACT same machines. You insert money into a machine, or possibly several machines, and press a button for about one hour. Then you leave the oxygen pumped, smoke filled house of ill repute and go to another casino with, yap, you guessed it, the EXACT same machines. You can repeat this process as many times as your wallet or digitus secundus will allow; or until you die of lung cancer, whichever comes first.

But don't worry; think of all the good things that come out of gambling. Think of the public schools in Mississippi that will thrive because of your generous donations, your index finger will be in great physical condition, and you will enjoy some good buffets.

As for me, I think that one time visit will be sufficient. So instead of wasting time and money, buy a mosquito net for kids in Africa (www.nothingbutnets.net), donate to your church, give to a school organization, work on a Habitat House, fight global warming, help me pay for my outrageously priced school books…SOMETHING! Anything but gambling!

Possible Discussion Questions

1.	Do you like Gambling and if so what's your favorite method of gambling?
2.	How many good things can you accomplish with your gambling money if you gave it to a respectable charity?
3.	What is your favorite charity?
4.	Is paying $120 for a soft cover textbook that is only Ľ inch thick too much?
5.	Do the Cardinals still have a shot at post season play?

Comments
Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

1. Nickel, dime quarter poker game with my buddies.

2. At the rate i just described I could probably buy a homeless person a cheesebuger a week, not a double cheeseburger though.

3. I actually have three, me, myself and I.

4. Depends on what you get out of it.

5. Yes, but not in 2007.

-- Posted by bthlr on Tue, Aug 21, 2007, at 2:03 PM

GOOD FOR YOU RONALDO! I'M GLAD YOU'RE SAFELY BACK AT MSU AND STILL HAVE YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT :) FORGIVE ME FOR BEING PERSONAL, BUT LOTS OF PEOPLE SURE DO LOVE YOU!!!!

-- Posted by MUSHBEAT on Tue, Aug 21, 2007, at 3:41 PM

All the causes you mention are worthy of effort, but get off the global warming band wagon!

-- Posted by kn_caldwell on Wed, Aug 22, 2007, at 8:26 PM

bthlr, I must admit, I too enjoy the occasional poker nickel, dime, quarter poker game with my buddies. Maybe if we teamed up we could get that double cheeseburger. And if you wish, I'll donate the burger to your charity: probably the third one. As far as the book goes(which is called the American Congress), for $120 I better end up Speaker of the House. While you are probably right about the Cardinals, I hope your wrong.

MUSHBEAT, Thanks! And as you know, the feelings are reciprocated.

kn_caldwell, you may have given me a topic for an up and coming blog entry. However, with all of the global warming evidence out there you might not have time to read it all. I'm glad you approve of the other worthy causes.

-- Posted by Ron on Wed, Aug 22, 2007, at 10:21 PM

Yo Dawg, I feel your pain with the loss of the hard earned $$$. Let me know when you are ready for a big ole cheeseburger and a can of SKOAL.

-- Posted by silly on Sat, Aug 25, 2007, at 3:26 PM

The house odds cannot be beaten, the casinos are monuments to those unrelenting odds, often low as 1-2%, but always working against you. If someone tells me they are a winner overall, I know it was their first time in a casino.

ABTW, I don't gamble, but I do play poker, big difference between a game of skill and one of luck.

-- Posted by Lived There Once on Mon, Aug 27, 2007, at 4:04 PM

Ron, I don't gamble because the odds always favor the house, but to keep moving from slot machine to slot machine is foolish from a mathematical standpoint. Each machine will pay according to it's programming if you stay at one long enough. Also, I think you might have your houses mixed up. The house of ill repute is a house much different than the gambling house and maybe at age 21 you're still too young to know or to be permitted to know the difference.

-- Posted by br549 on Wed, Aug 29, 2007, at 5:56 PM

silly- i'm always ready for the cheesburger but no SKOAL until i learn to do that can thumpin'-packin thing with my finger...which means never.

Lived there once- I don't know the stats enough to comment but I do know that this beaton was beaten by the house odds, even if it was my first time. And I concur with your skill vs luck commment in regards to poker.

br549- I will head your advice if I ever go to a casino again; which I probably won't. In regards to the differences in houses, as Groucho Marx used to say, "I could say something here, but I won't." However, if you prefer I will from this point on call it a den of iniquity. And I think, not based on first hand knowledge of course, I am LEGALLY permitted to know the difference.

-- Posted by Ron on Mon, Sep 3, 2007, at 6:41 PM

Hello! So here it is October, and I haven't been getting the DDD mailed to my apartment here in Cape G, so I decided to read it online, and then I remembered Ron has a blog!

Let me begin by saying "I resent that, Ron!" Ladies and Germs, casinos are not all bad. My family has been to Tunica many times and it is no different then going on a trip to, say, St. Louis, where you are getting a room, going to a game or movies, and eating. In fact, it's cheaper, unless you decide to play BORING DOLLAR slots, where you will very quickly lose all your money. The writer of this blog refused to take the time to learn how to play a much more exciting penny or nickel machine b/c it looked confusing and didn't want to take the time to learn a game of a little more skill. So of course he didn't have fun and was very quick to shut casinos out of his life forever. I don't know, I have created a very nice little nest egg for myself through my winnings at casinos, which will be nice for grad school. You know, you could go back to Tunica and win plenty of money to by dozens of mosquito nets! And always remember, the town of Caruthersville, MO would not be in existence today if it weren't for Casino Aztar. That's food for thought.

-- Posted by Rowdy 1 on Tue, Oct 2, 2007, at 12:24 AM

1. Gamlbing is more fun when I at least feel like I have a chance at winning. Playing slots is like lighting your wallet on fire and hoping only your Subway Club card gets burnt. Even if you "win," you still lose.

2. If you add together all of the money I've ever spent on gambling and gave it to a homeless person, he or she could barely afford a bottle of half empty, bottom shelf booze that is 90% backwash.

3. Bootheel Human Needs Center

4. Buying books is for suckers. Sometimes you can get them online, and often you don't need them. If money is a problem, perhaps you should play the slots. By "play" I mean "rob", and by "slots" I mean "drug dealers".

5. The Cardinals question seems irrelevant, but I suppose there's always this year...

THIS is what I do when I don't have to be at work?

-- Posted by Corky Keating on Tue, Jan 29, 2008, at 1:08 PM