Quality vs. quantity...

Posted Thursday, October 9, 2008, at 12:59 PM

Spending time in the backyard with my son, Holden, as he perfects his swing.
"It's not the 'quantity' of time, but the 'quality' of our time that our children desire."

We are a busy, bustling society. Take my blog for example. Between trying to play Mommy, buying my first home, taking a cruise to Cozumel and Key West, a family reunion, a tonsillectomy on my 3-year-old, taking in a new family pet, siphoning gas because, frankly, I can't afford it, and work... Its been a while folks. But I'm back and ready to sound off. Oh, Joy?! Ha!

We are constantly on the go. Are we not?

Most of us feel there is not enough time in the day to accomplish all that we need and should.

Mornings we spend rushing out the door to drop the kids off at school and then we are off to work, where we usually spend about eight hours of our day. Then after we clock out, its back to work at home, and play, and eat, and, oh, don't forget homework, and karate practice, and dog walks, dishes, laundry, baths, stories, a bed (if you're lucky). Then you wake up and do it all over again.

I thought about this recently and admit that I feel like I miss out on a lot with my kids at times because my life is so busy. I talked to some kids at Delta C-7 recently who asked me if working at a newspaper and the extended dedication and hours it requires at times was hard on my kids? They wanted to know what my boys thought about me being a working mother that loves that part of my life, yet loves them. These were kids asking me this, mind you.

The question really had me thinking for a moment, before I could answer.

Fortunately, my six-year-old's principal had some advice. Though I don't think it was meant for me alone. Not long ago, my son had a letter in his backpack.

An important part of the letter read:

"It seems we never have a minute to spare with our hectic schedules." However, "It is so important to spend quality time with our children. It's not the 'quantity' of time, but the 'quality' of our time that our children desire."

The letter went on. And so did I with my Delta C-7 discussion.

My answer to the young girl who asked me the question was based on the words of Mrs. McAtee's letter.

I simply told her the truth. That although we all wish we could spend more time with our family, at times it is best that we have those brief experiences of being away so that we really appreciate the time we have and make it worth the wait. It's every moment we do have that is important. And that is what we all should give.

What kind of things do you do with your children to make the moments you have quality time?

Comments
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My children are all grown and gone away, but I loved the time we had together when they were kids, and I look forward to the grandkids coming back to the farm.

We spent time outside in the garden, playing with baby geese, puppies, piglets, ducks....you name it! Summertime was full of animals.

We also baked cookies in the kitchen. Now my stove burns all the cookies I try to make. Maybe it misses the kids, you think?

The kids' sports were great too. Nothing like watching my son play t-ball and then high school basketball.....the daughter cheerleading...

Loading up the kids and their friends in the car to take them to the fair, coming home with those glow sticks lighting up the night...

I see my middle son in his two-year old...the curly hair...the blue eyes...He loves basketball already...and his mom & dad love to teach him to hit the ball on the tee. Here we go again!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Oct 9, 2008, at 10:28 PM

Love the photo, by the way!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Oct 9, 2008, at 10:29 PM

I have four boy's. They are all great gentelmen. I wrestle and tickle and just generally play with the two youngest, the older two have grown up out of that stage and could probably beat me up anyway's..lol But I take them to concerts and events that I'm working and the time I get to spend with them I try and teach them the values of life, family and friends as well as everyday life common sence. I tell them the world is not just in a book and you have to be able to think before you act.

We do alot as a family and it seems the 2 oldest are getting to the point where they want to be with friends or on the computer at home. Now my oldest has been asking me to help him get some applications so he can find a job and I said I would, but I kind of told a little white lie. Why? Because I really don't want him to go to work and become independent as you know what the next move would be in his life and I don't thank his Mother and I are ready for that yet. ha thats bad isn't it?

Though the one thing we never forget to do is say "I Love You"

-- Posted by BadBones on Fri, Oct 10, 2008, at 12:13 AM

BB, you can still love him and have him around, even if he gets a job. Help him out!

They're like little birds - They'll be back!

As sad as I was to see my oldest son's college major (environmental engineering) take him far north, I could never ask him to stay in this area, when I knew he would have a better life in a more environmentally friendly area of the country.

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Oct 10, 2008, at 6:57 AM

Don't get me wrong, I get him apps all the time. It just takes you by suprise when they come to you and ask for the first time. You really begin to see them as young adults instead of our little ones.

-- Posted by BadBones on Sun, Oct 12, 2008, at 2:04 PM

Mmmm....a dad named "Bad Bones..."! Not every kid can boast of that!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Oct 13, 2008, at 5:49 PM

hahha true, true

-- Posted by BadBones on Tue, Oct 14, 2008, at 7:31 PM

Focusing on either may consume the same amount of time and resources, but the result will often be significantly different. Your attitude of quality over quantity is unique among size and deserves applause and attention, especially as you have paved the way for the Friulian language into the 21st century. People appear to be becoming less and less discerning of quality and more interested in how much they can get for some set fee money or the time.

-----------------------

Karri

Drug Rehabs

-- Posted by karri on Thu, Oct 30, 2008, at 11:28 PM

Thanks Karri!

-- Posted by deannacoronado on Fri, Oct 31, 2008, at 12:32 PM

Time Out

Deanna Coronado

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Life is hectic and that's especially so for a young woman trying to raise a family and balance a career. Daily Dunklin Democrat editor and blogger, Deanna Coronado will share some stories most of us can relate to one way or another. Join her discussion here.

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