Time Out -- Lessons learned

Posted Thursday, June 28, 2007, at 8:08 AM

At the end of my day, after I put my boys, Holden, 4, and Chandler, 2, to bed, like clockwork, I walk into the kitchen to put on a pot of Starbucks French Roast coffee and jump into the shower while it brews. I realize that most people fill their coffee mugs in the morning, but I find that the aroma of java rising from my cup creates a sense of relaxation for me. And trust me, between my full-time career as a writer/photographer for a newspaper and being a mother of two tireless boys that seem to be running on Energizer batteries, I need some calm in my life. For me, each night's cup of coffee is somewhat like a reflection pool. I sometimes sit and stare into it's smoky brown color and gauge how I feel about the day, about being a mom, and what I want to make of tomorrow based on how I feel at that moment. Motherhood and parenting in general, in my opinion, is a metamorphosis that people go through, a skill that is never really mastered, an experience that God blesses you with and a lesson in which you will always learn something from. As children grow, so do their parents.

I interviewed my grand-parents once for a special piece on their best years. They had many stories to share about their life and about raising their children together. During those years of raising three children, one being my father, they led a life that perhaps found truth in the belief that the value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.

My grandmother told me that she and my grandfather sort of "grew up" with their kids. At 27 years old, I must say that I can sincerely relate to her statement.

There are times when I stare into my coffee cup and think to myself that my husband and I are still so unripe ourselves there is no way that we can be flourishing as parents. But I suppose all parents doubt their child rearing abilities from time to time.

In most cases, like in my grandparents', adults end up being better parents than they ever imagined themselves to be. And their children will tell you so. My grandmother told me that about two years ago, during a family gathering she asked my dad and the rest of her children how they would rate their childhood and that all of them said that it was the best that any kid could have.

Being the humorous person that she is, she looked at me jokingly and said, "And to think, all that time we thought we were awful parents."

Tonight I followed my normal routine, sat down with my cup of coffee, and started to think about what I have learned thus far as a mother.

In the nearly five years since my first son was born, there have been a lot of lessons to take in, some serious and some light-hearted and even humorous. If I could sum it all up, it would be safe to say that I have learned that there is no such thing as "fool-proof" when it comes to raising kids, you live and you learn.

Focusing on the humor of parenthood, I thought it might be appropriate to share something that came to me via the information super-highway the other night as I sat at my desk, sipping my coffee, reading through my e-mails. The message made me laugh. It was a compilation of lessons learned by parents and for parents that is sure to make anyone chuckle out loud. Here are a few things people all across America say they have learned from being parents:

*	A three-year-old voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
*	When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh, Oh!" follows, its already too late.
*	Certain sized legos and other random objects can actually pass through the digestive system of a four-year-old.
*	If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 30-pound boy wearing Spiderman underwear and a Superman cape.
*	No matter how insignificant or short the trip may seem, always pack a barf bucket.
*	The child you are currently dealing with is always treated more unfairly than his siblings.
*	"An object tends to stay in motion" is a law written by a parent with toddlers.
*	Two words: Xan-ax
*	Children are always the sickest between the hours of midnight and 4 a.m.
*	The ones that always want to tell you how you should be raising your children never seem to be free to baby-sit.
*	Uninterrupted sleep is a distant memory.
*	Babies and toddlers love to be naked. But naked children pee.
*	Maybe you don't really want to know where the source of that odor is coming from.
*	A six-year-old really can start a fire with a flint rock, even though your husband assures you that it can only be done in the movies.
*	The local Fire Department typically only takes five minutes or less to arrive at your home.

Surely most parents, including myself, can appreciate and/or relate to at least a few, if not all of the above mentioned lessons learned from being a parent. Could you?

Comments
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Good blog... brought back memories...good memories, busy times. I use to say that my life was a sit com, but I was too busy to think it was very funny!! Enjoy those boys and your busy life. It will slow down all too soon. Oh, and great picture.

-- Posted by Vickie on Thu, Jun 28, 2007, at 3:14 PM

Have you ever read a blog? Who cares what brand of coffee you drink, or when you drink it? Your essay is too long and uninviting for any type of discussion. Read some real blogs, and try again. Sorry you're so insecure?

-- Posted by Skeptisch on Sun, Jul 8, 2007, at 6:53 AM

*snoring*

Oops sorry.. I must have fallen asleep while attempting to read this... wake me up when it's over.

-- Posted by vambfly on Sun, Jul 8, 2007, at 2:05 PM

Exactly why "Skeptisch" has chosen that name in this context is perfectly clear: He/she is extremely skeptical about life!

-- Posted by hhshornet74 on Sun, Jul 8, 2007, at 9:33 PM

Vambfly-how rude!

I enjoyed reading this-I can relate to alot of it! It definitely made me laugh.

-- Posted by bamagirl on Mon, Jul 9, 2007, at 9:12 PM

Skeptisch, Jesus Loves You too you know! HAHAHA your too funny, btw, you obviousily cared what brand of coffee she drinks, you read the whole "blog". Are you in a place where they force you to read "blogs" and post comments? If so I could understand your frustration. Last time I checked this was a free country and you have the right to visit other web pages you know? I can give you a list of other great pages if you would like....www.getoveryourself.com would be a great place to start!! I do enjoy your post though, they always make me laugh and be thankful that people such as you make others feel so much better about themselves. (and smarter) HAHA keep up the great work friend.

-- Posted by oefvet on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 1:27 AM

Attention: "bamagirl"

Too long to be of interest. Sorry. This is what blogging is about. Usually the comments are of more interest than the actual initial post... in this case it's certainly true.

Tips From Me (Take 'em or leave 'em):

#1 Get the reader insterested right off the bat. Then they will be more likely to read what you have written. Like a funny story, or joke. Then reading about your coffee ritual wouldn't have sounded so boring.

#2 Don't take it personal. This is what happens in blogs. People exchange differences of opinions.

#3 Don't take yourself too seriously. There are a lot of people in this world, they don't all have to agree with you or like you. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.

#4 God made us all different for a reason. Differences of opinions are actually what keeps blogs (and life, and relationships, etc.) going. We'd all be bored silly reading blogs where 100 people agreed. Be thankful.

To "oefvet" regarding: I do enjoy your post though, they always make me laugh and be thankful that people such as you make others feel so much better about themselves.

What's it's all about my friend. =)

-- Posted by vambfly on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 1:27 PM

*snore*

Thanks for not taking your own advice in your comment vambfly. It gave the rest of us time for nap. Come on guys give these "first timers" a chance.

-- Posted by Jo-Co-Worker on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 2:13 PM

Sounds like vambfly could take a little advice from the #3 suggestion on his or her list of "Tips from me" ... "Me", obviously being the Dr. Phil of bloggers! :) haha.

Too funny! Don't worry honey, I never take these types of feedback personal. Negativity in this form only makes me laugh. Mostly because the people who write these kinds of comments tend to contradict themselves many times throughout their posts ... which only makes them look even more like the one who needs advice rather than the one who should be giving it out. But thanks for the fun reading. I truly enjoyed it!

-- Posted by Mrs. C on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 4:41 PM

Without my being "Skeptisch," many of you would have nothing to really juice up your bile. Think about that? Most of the responders appear to have been "moved" by our blog reponses?

-- Posted by Skeptisch on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 5:13 PM

Without my being "Skeptisch," many of you would have nothing to really juice up your bile. Think about that? Most of the responders appear to have been "moved" by our blog responses?

-- Posted by Skeptisch on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 5:16 PM

LOL @ Jo-Co-Worker. Hilarious. This is really fun. Thank YOU for the laughs. It's funny how clueless some people are.

WTG Skeptish. =)

-- Posted by vambfly on Tue, Jul 10, 2007, at 9:45 PM

I appreciate the "positive" information you and everyone else here has provided in helping me to better my blog :) I mean that. I did, however, want to point out that although I will try to shorten my future entries, this blog, "my" blog, is all about my "reflections" as a mother (who happens to love good coffee). Ha!

The theme "Time Out" is about parenting, motherhood, and family issues in general. I realize that the content of my blogs may not be interesting to everyone, but perhaps some people out there can and do relate. Those who don't could more than likely find something they consider to be interesting in some of our other new blogs ... just a thought.

* Best wishes to ALL!

-- Posted by Mrs. C on Wed, Jul 11, 2007, at 10:09 AM

Thanks for the compliment. I certainly don't mind being compared to Dr. Phil.

You read my whole entry though, didn't you Jo? ;)

Thank you Mr.Sarcastic for realizing the sarcasm in it. That went over some people's heads...

Anywho, when I contradict myself please let me know.

Have a great day! Enjoy your coffee. =)

(I mean that.)

-- Posted by vambfly on Wed, Jul 11, 2007, at 11:26 AM

Was it "Vambly" who asked for a blog example from me? How's this? Pope Benedict (Associated Press story 7/11/07) says that the Catholic Church is the only true church, and that all other churches are "defective" Christian communities. The Pope stated flatly that "Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation." Good for Benedict XVI! I'm a Protestant, but I admire the Pope for stating his beliefs, unequivocally. Many Catholics will disagree with him, but they are "cafeteria" Catholics (latter day Lutherans?) History is on the Pope's side.

-- Posted by Skeptisch on Wed, Jul 11, 2007, at 1:37 PM

-- Posted by Skeptisch on Wed, Jul 11, 2007, at 1:41 PM

No, Skeptish, it wasn't me that asked for a blog example. But thanks for the interesting read. =) While I disagree with what the Pope had to say, I too admire people for stating what they believe and not backing down when facing adversity.

Good read.

BTW it was Jo-Co-Worker that asked for a sample.

-- Posted by vambfly on Wed, Jul 11, 2007, at 2:03 PM

To Vickie, Bamagirl, and Co-Jo-Worker: Thanks for the positive feedback. I am glad that you could relate and enjoyed what I had to say :)

Skeptisch:

Nice blog example, in terms of working on improving the length of blog entries. However, my blog is not about religion, rather parenting issues and my reflections on being the mother of two little ones :) Do you have any suggestions or topics on this subject you would like to submit? Just curious? I do appreciate everyones opinion, "Antagonist", or not. HaHa.

-- Posted by Mrs. C on Wed, Jul 11, 2007, at 7:37 PM

Sorry I got off topic. You'll never have a more important job than "raising" your children. Remember, children are born into this world as wild beasts who must be trained to live among us. And, please don't expect them to behave themselves in public, if they aren't trained before (at home) you inflict them on the rest of us.

-- Posted by Skeptisch on Thu, Jul 12, 2007, at 6:54 AM

Skeptisch: I have to say that I agree with the statement that parents should not expect their children to follow the rules of society when they haven't taught them to follow their own rules at home.

At the same time, I can't help but laugh at the term "inflict": to cause something unpleasant to be endured.

Comical!

-- Posted by Mrs. C on Thu, Jul 12, 2007, at 8:46 AM

Oh the joys.

I think you all need to take the somewhat sarcastic advice given by Vambfly. You are proving her/his point.

Skeptisch- glad someone like you is on. You should meet polebarnbuilder. What ever happened to Mr. Sarcastic?

I understand what Skeptisch is saying. How incredibly irritating is it to see children controlling their parents? And for those parents that do not control their children they are inflicting them on the rest of us. I thought it was a good choice of words.

-- Posted by Darth on Thu, Jul 12, 2007, at 2:14 PM

It was a "boring" blog though. I don't think anyone is really trying to be negative. Just honest. I know that doesn't sit too well with any of you.

-- Posted by Darth on Thu, Jul 12, 2007, at 2:15 PM

There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity, since Skeptisch doesnt sound like an atomic bomb when he goes off, that only leaves one alternative. keep drinking coffee and writing. you are getting better every day.

-- Posted by Rives Wildcat on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 3:24 PM

-- Posted by Rives Wildcat on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 3:25 PM

jbradley: Thanks for the encouragement ;)

-- Posted by Mrs. C on Wed, Jul 18, 2007, at 11:31 AM

Time Out

Deanna Coronado

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Life is hectic and that's especially so for a young woman trying to raise a family and balance a career. Daily Dunklin Democrat editor and blogger, Deanna Coronado will share some stories most of us can relate to one way or another. Join her discussion here.

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