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January 6, 2013

Posted Tuesday, January 8, 2013, at 2:19 PM

It is the first Sunday of 2013. We will charge, or stumble even further, into the 21st Century. I keep waiting for my personal intergalactic space cruiser to show up. In 1959 when I thought about life 50 years into the future, I was convinced I would have my own space ship by 2013. The problem may be that they have to reconfigure mine. The space ship I imagined when I was fourteen may not fit this body in its sixty-eighth year.

Christmas and New Year's Day are behind us, and my thanks go out to the Malden Street Department for the great job they did in cleaning the streets after our Christmas Day blizzard. I was told that a blizzard warning had never been issued for our part of the world until December 25, 2012. Our street department and their new snowplow, which I predicted would cause a major snowstorm, went right to work on Christmas Night and worked all through the night and the next day moving snow off our streets. Even though there were approximately ten inches of wind driven snow, there was very little disruption of travel on Malden's streets.

Malden received something of a Christmas present from the Missouri Department of Transportation. MODOT notified us that they will be providing the funding for new sidewalks on Douglass Street north to the Bootheel Youth Museum and then west beside the Statue of Liberty to the elementary school. The cost is estimated to be about $106,000 and the City of Malden does not have to provide any matching funds. The genesis of this project was a joint meeting of the Malden Schools and the City of Malden last fall. An application was made for sidewalks under two different grant programs. We didn't get exactly what we asked for, but in these tough economic times we got $106,000, and that is not a bad thing. The sidewalks will make our community look nicer and be safer for pedestrians.

I met a couple of weeks ago with two representatives from the Missouri Department of Economic Development. They indicated that not much was happening with industrial relocation in Missouri. In fact they could not name anything that had moved to a town or area like Malden in the last four and half years. They were not pessimistic but counseled that we keep on striving to clean up our community and be ready when opportunity arrives. The needed pieces are in place.

Did you survive the Mayan Death Calendar? The date came and went, and as far as I know we are still here. The Doomsday Prophesiers keep trying, and if you throw enough stuff at the wall something has to stick.

I am prophesying that Planet X will arrive near Earth on August 14, 2013. Planet X cannot be seen by conventional means. It is made up entirely of anti-matter. Its existence can only be postulated by the disruption it causes in the space time continuum. Planet X is inhabited by creatures some of us are familiar with (see the first paragraph above). THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON lives there as do THE BLOB (1957 version), THE THING, INVADERS FROM MARS, and WAR OF THE WORLDS. There are also giant ants from THEM and a giant spider from TARANTULA. You get the picture? Pardon the pun. I know this because I was stationed in New Mexico in the U.S. Army and got the inside intelligence from the people who track these things. Anyway, not to worry. A conference will be held this Wednesday in Poplar Bluff on emergency management and our people will be there. We have ordered an ample supply of phasers to be distributed. I suggest you set your phaser on "stun" because if we can capture some of these creatures we can start a zoo.

The financial report is as follows:

December 28, 2012Balance $1,202,716.08

Revenues $209,616.58

Expenses $108,031.60

January 4, 2013Balance $1,304,301.06


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