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Sunday, Sep. 25, 2016

To Facebook or not to Facebook

Posted Thursday, September 16, 2010, at 9:30 AM

You may or may not be aware of a little thing called Facebook. It is a website that connects you with pretty much anyone who has an account. It is highly popular and consumes many people's lives. Facebook has over 400,000,000 members, and growing.

Facebook like many things has its pros and cons. Pros are, it keeps you connected with your family members, near or far. You can upload your photos and let the family see anything from your child's first day of school to your family vacation photos.

You can also reconnect with childhood friends with whom you went to school; keep in touch with college friends and past co-workers/employers. It's more than making friends, it's networking as well.

Now, on to the cons. I will let you know that if you are a private person, Facebook is probably not for you. Facebook has been the center of controversy from the very beginning. Some people have posted photos of themselves drunk or in questionable places and positions (no pun intended). These certain folks, soon find themselves unemployed.

As of recent it has been causing families to split, due to former relationships finding each other and "reconnecting". This brings me to believe, that if you are not secure in your relationship and one of the components of your relationship has been known to wander or has trust issues, Facebook is not an avenue you may want to explore.

Other than that, I would say that this site shouldn't be taken so seriously. Some folks take it to the extreme. Posting what they are doing every second of the hour. This can become quite annoying. Some find it as a way to boast about their accomplishments and things they are doing. That is annoying as well.

Others take the avenue of using the status bar as a way to gripe or complain about anything and everything. Okay, once in awhile to vent, in my opinion, is fine. Now when you are constantly bashing your husband/wife or family; that get's tiresome.

As for myself, Facebook has been almost a healing process for me. I know it sounds strange, but I find it a blessing. I have been able to not only keep in contact with my family and long-distant friends, but I have been able to reconnect with long-lost friends as well. I find it exciting to find, or have them find me on this site. I am quite a shy person, and I have been known to not express my true feelings for people, for fear of rejection. Thanks to this site, I have been able to find those family members or friends and let them know how much they mean to me. I know it may sound crazy, and trust me I'd rather be able to see them face to face and hug them and tell them, but sometimes that is just not possible for the moment.

On a personal note, I have a really good friend of mine that had dated a guy for about 3 years. This relationship started out like most, but somewhere in the middle turned into a violent, abusive relationship. She was finally able to end the relationship, but that did not end the hurt and pain on the inside. She moved on, grew up and was able to obtain a much better life, not giving that guy a second thought. Unfortunately, she was faced with many thoughts of doubt, due to the abusive relationship,

and no matter how loved she felt by her family and husband she still had those verbal and physical scars from the past.

She has a facebook account now, and one day out of the blue, she received an email from "that guy". She was stunned and didn't really know how to react, and it took her many days/weeks to even respond. She told her husband immediately, and she even had him read the email. Thankfully her husband was understanding and knew that she was smart and level headed, and told her to do what she needed to do concerning this matter. She decided to email him back with a simple reply on how she was doing and did he really think that she should "friend" him on her facebook? His response was to the effect of; no I don't expect you to and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. He then apologized in great detail about all the things he had done to her. She was greatly moved. She told me that she felt a release; as if a weight had been lifted from her. She felt a sudden feeling of happiness. Sure thoughts of "did he really mean it", "is this another line from him", "is he still trying to play games with me"; flooded her mind. She then decided that she was going to take the apology for what it was worth to her.

Whether or not it really was heartfelt, it meant something to her. That day, she said that she felt like the book had an ending. She felt closure on this matter. You could truly see a change in her eyes. She went from being a beaten down, defeated person; to a person who looked like a breath of fresh air had just passed over her. The relief and peace in her face alone was simply magnificent.

Whether you have a facebook or not, it doesn't make who you are. It simply should just be a form of entertainment and a way to keep in touch with people. It can become very addicting with all the photos and games to play, but try not to take it so seriously. It was made for enjoyment and now it is becoming abused. So check it out if you don't have an account, and if you do have an account; you probably want this blog to end so you can go catch up with "Farmville" or you "Mafia Wars". Have fun, be careful with what you say, and most of all take it all as a grain of salt.

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The HART of the matter
Tori Hart
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